TODAY IS THE DAY

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It's the eighth of June 2012.  Today in my heart and mind he's nine years old because that is the year that he left this earth.  If he was still here on this earth he would be age 36.  I can only imagine what he'd be doing, what job he'd be working on, whether or not he was married, whether he had children.  I can only imagine because these are accomplishments that did not come to be.

A mother does not forget the day she gave birth to a child.  I don't think it's the pain she remembers because if she did let's face it she probably wouldn't repeat that.  It's the joy that she doesn't forget.  There is a joy that surrounds the experience that far out- weighs any pain that she felt.  There's the happiness that drips from the brow and spreads out over the room, like butter on toast. 

In the beginning of having to spend this day alone, tears would come to my eyes and I would mourn the smell of him, the laughter, the sparkling eyes.  Now I look at this day as a new beginning, a respectfull remembrance of the joy that filled that room, on this day 36 years ago.  I have spent time meditating, listening to uplifting messages, and reading the Word, to strengthen me for whatever blessings that God will give to me on this day. 

Does the world remember?  Not really.  I've even found that the people who knew him don't always think of it.  That used to really bother me.  Not anymore, because their lives surround them and they go on with their day.  Some of them stop to think of the birthday but to most people it's just another day.  There is no fault in that. 

As time wears on, I find myself seizing the day, this day's happenings, this day's blessings, failures and accomplishments.  Louis is at peace.  If he can see me, today, I believe that he is the happiest of all.  He is in heaven with his Lord, no pain, no worries, just happiness.

I recall one day when he was in the hospital and I got a phone call at work.  "Mom, mom, guess what?  What son?  Listen to this, he began reading the passage, and the streets are of gold, and there is no more pain.  No more pain, mom.  How wonderful can this place be?"  I remember, my eyes welled up and I thought "How can a nine year old be so prepared?"  Well, God prepares us at any age to be received by Him.  To be ready.  Today I celebrate that Louis is at peace, enjoying no more pain, happy and relieved.  I hold on to this truth for one more birthday.

Happy Birthday son, a mother's love does not forget!